


This is not how it was supposed to go

by 11paruline44



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien is a total drama queen, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Identity Reveal, Love Letters, So is Marinette, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, but we already know that, of a sort, these dorks are ridiculously in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 13:51:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16265516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/11paruline44/pseuds/11paruline44
Summary: It all started with Chloé being Chloé—because what doesn't. Feelings were hurt, secrets were exposed—and soulmates revealed. That part was an accident. So was the part where they found each others' letters. But perhaps accidental glimpses into each others' thoughts were exactly what they needed...





	This is not how it was supposed to go

**Author's Note:**

> I debated myself a lot over whether or not I'd post this—I had a lot of editing notes at the bottom that I can't make heads or tails of now, lol. But what could be the harm? *shrugs* Oh well, here goes!

For what must have been the hundredth time since Adrien got home, he lifted his shirt and peered down at the tattoo over his heart. As if he needed to look at it—the soul mark was forever emblazoned in his mind. For years he’d stared at it, yearning to meet _them._ His very own soulmate. Someone who the universe had destined to love him, Adrien Agreste. More recently, he’d had more daydreams about discovering it beneath Ladybug’s dotted suit than he’d care to admit. But dreams were one matter, and reality was another. Actually seeing it on someone else’s skin was an entirely different matter. It was quite enough to make him doubt his eyes.

Adrien’s finger traced the outline of the delicate yet minimalist butterfly design he knew so well. It was still there, still the same. He couldn’t have been mistaken. Shoving his shirt back down, Adrien flopped backwards into his bed, groaning. He buried his face in his hands. It wasn’t supposed to have gone like this. Not like this at all.

“You going to be done soon, Romeo?” Plagg’s voice whined. “I seem to recall that you promised me some Camembert… hmmm, let’s see… ‘as soon as I get home from school.’”

“Not now, Plagg.”

“Then _when?_ You’ve been bellyaching about this Marinette girl for hours. Hours, I repeat, _hours._ At some point, you’ve got to accept the fact that just because you’re having a little romantic crisis doesn’t mean your homework’s going to go away. Or, most importantly, your need to Feed. Your. Kwami.” Plagg’s whiskers suddenly brushed against Adrien’s cheek, causing him to jump.

“Plagg!” Adrien cried, swiping blindly at the snickering kwami as he rose to his feet. “Don’t you get it? This is probably the biggest disaster that has ever happened to me in my life!” _And I should have been able to stop it,_ the back of Adrien’s mind reminded him.

Chloe. He was sick of everything to do with her. All the mean tricks she played, the drama she’d caused, the way she threw herself at him every single day. But most of all, he was sick of how he’d let her. She’d been his first friend, yes, but if she wasn’t truly a friend anymore, why couldn’t Adrien seem to finally stand up to her? 

For a moment, the image of Marinette’s face from earlier that day, contorted with horror and shame, flashed before his eyes. Adrien gave his head a shake and slumped back onto the bed. And then there was _her._ His soulmate—the kind, pretty, talented classmate who he was truly lucky to be matched with. And yet he’d let her down, and he’d always let her down, because he was in love with someone else. He’d half expected, as soon as he’d seen the butterfly tattooed over Marinette’s heart, that he’d somehow feel something for her, and that his feelings for Ladybug would move aside for his soulmate. But no, Adrien’s hopeless feelings for his Lady hadn’t lessened one bit. _I don't deserve either one,_ Adrien thought miserably.

“LADYBUG LADYBUG LADYBUG!” Plagg’s voice cut in. Adrien blinked and leaned away from the kwami that was buzzing around in his face, waving his arms. “Plagg—what—“

“Well, will you look at that. You mention his lady love, and suddenly he’s all ears. Figures,” Plagg grumbled. 

Adrien was sure he’d have growled had he been transformed. “Plagg. How many times do I have to tell you, it’s not funny.”

“Hey, I’m not laughing. I’m just trying to get some food here.”

Sighing, Adrien slid off his bed, found his school bag, and rummaged around for some Camembert. Finally finding a half-eaten wrappers’ full—his bag was totally going to smell gross for a week—Adrien tossed the cheese to his kwami and sat down on the floor, watching Plagg devour his snack. 

“This is such a mess,” he whispered, letting his gaze unfocus as he stared into space. “I wish it had been Ladybug.”

“How do you know it wasn’t?” Plagg retorted mid-mouthful, before suddenly choking, his eyes wide. Adrien watched him to make sure he was alright—he did silly things like inhale too much cheese at once every so often—before Plagg’s words registered in Adrien’s mind. _How do you know?_

“Because—because…” Adrien felt the rest of his reply die on his tongue. Sure, he did know Marinette, but how did he know she wasn’t Ladybug? Adrien felt a twinge of hope swell his chest. _What if—what if…. No, I’m not that lucky._

Adrien wiped his eyes. “Great, now you got my hopes up. Happy now?” He tried to shoot Plagg a _look,_ but realized he was too distracted for it to have the impact he’d intended.

“Whatever.” Plagg extricated another gargantuan mouthful from the cheese and swallowed it whole. “This is why I stick to cheese, kid. Camembert never lets you down.”

Adrien sank to his elbows. But if Marinette truly were Ladybug… it would be so perfect. He wouldn’t be letting either of them down anymore. And the more he thought about the idea, the more it actually made sense. They had the same indigo-black hair. The same wide, entrancing blue eyes. The same freckles. And not only their physical appearances, but their personalities, too. While Marinette could frequently be painfully shy—especially around him, Adrien had unfortunately noticed—she could be positively fierce. Unbidden, an image of Marinette standing up to Chloe surfaced in his brain. That posture… and if he were simply to place a mask on her face…

Adrien gasped. No way. It couldn’t be this easy. Suddenly, tidbits and memories of the heroine and his classmate began to fly through his head, swirling and jumbling until he couldn’t separate the two. _Marinette. Ladybug. Bug—Buginette._

Adrien jumped to his feet and started to pace with a manic energy rush he’d only ever felt in the middle of an akuma fight. He could be right—and if he were, it would be the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to him. His soulmate? Ladybug? His partner? Sitting behind him this whole time? Adrien tore his hands through his hair. But what if he was wrong? The thought of this wonderful, perfect idea turning out not to be true terrified him. If Ladybug wasn’t Marinette, who would she be? Adrien felt his heart sink at the idea of the heroine being anyone else. _Ugh, how did I get so attached to this idea that quickly? I’m probably going to disappoint myself._

“Kid, are you alright?” Plagg’s voice cut through the noise in Adrien’s mind. He whirled around to find the kwami, now done with his cheese, floating before him, staring at him thoughtfully. Adrien blinked in surprise.

“Uh… um, yeah, I’m fine,” Adrien croaked. 

“No, you’re not,” Plagg scoffed, folding his arms. “You has this crazed look on your face, like a hyena or something.”

Adrien felt a familiar pang of annoyance, but as he tried to reply, the words wouldn’t come out right. “Well—I mean—what are you—“ 

The kwami narrowed his eyes, before they opened wide in recognition. “Oh, it’s because I said _that._ ” He rolled his eyes affectionately.

Adrien felt something in his throat relax. “What if she is, Plagg? But then, what if Marinette isn’t—what am I going to do? And if I ask, I’ll totally mess everything up—and I can’t mess things up with my soulmate—“

“Ugh.” Plagg threw his paws into the air. “Alright. I tried. There is no way I can take that much lovesick whining.”

Adrien bit his lip and hung his head. For a moment, he’d dared to think the kwami really _cared._

“—if you really wanted, to, kid,” the kwami’s voice wafted past his years. “I promise I wouldn’t read it, or laugh at you—okay, maybe just a little—“

“Wait, what?” Adrien’s head snapped up.

Plagg huffed. “Write it down. Take all of this—“ he gestured wildly in the vague direction of Adrien’s head— “and stick it on paper. Apparently, Ladybug does it. Helps her get it all out of her system so Tikki doesn’t have to listen to her prattling anymore.”

Adrien blinked as he waited for the gears in his head to catch up. His Lady—Plagg—paper—

“Like—like a journal?” His voice sounded like an incredulous squeak.

“Duh.” Plagg swished his tail. “Well, I haven’t got all day to watch you mope, so either do it, or don’t. Just leave me out of it, _please._ ” With that, the kwami drifted away to his favorite napping spot in Adrien’s bed.

Adrien stood rooted to his spot, absently scratching his head. Plagg had actually given him some non-sarcastic advice, for once. The significance of the gesture wasn’t lost on the teen. Maybe—maybe this could actually work.

As if moving through water, Adrien strode towards his desk and settled in his chair, simultaneously pulling out a pen and paper with one fluid motion. As soon as he put the pen to paper, he felt the emotions all come back. He wrote sentence after sentence, the words slowly blurring with tears, before finally, he collapsed in the chair, his sobs melting into slumber. As he slept, he didn’t notice a black shape fold up his letter, address it, and slip it in the mansion’s mailbox. 

***

She’d read it multiple times, but she still couldn’t make heads or tails out of it.

It was, without a doubt, the most unsettling thing she’d ever read. And yet, she just couldn’t seem to stop reading it.

_Dear Marinette,_

_Please. Please tell me you’re Ladybug. I know you might not be, and I’m probably being silly, but I just can’t seem to get the idea of it out of my head and if it were true it would fix everything._

_God I’m such a mess_

_I failed you. When Chloe accused you of those ridiculous, horrible things and you just sat there, taking it in, and I know it must have hurt more than usual because most of the time, you’re so strong, you put her back in her place better than anyone else and I wish I could_

_you look so much like her when you stand like that—small, but determined, and that little frown—how did I not see it before I’m such an idiot_

_But today you didn’t stand up. You didn’t. You just shrank back and took it and I’m so fucking sick of Chloe treating you like that you deserve so much better_

_much better than me, anyway_

_She crossed a line. We all know she did. Even me. But I just watched her. I couldn’t move. What kind of hero am I if I can’t even protect my own soulmate_

_I’m sorry Marinette. Please forgive me._

_I’d better get my shit together or I’ll end up alone_

_Love,  
Your loser soulmate_

Marinette blinked at the final words of the letter. Her soulmate. Her soulmate was in her class—they must have been—oh goodness, they’d found out _that_ way. She buried her face in her hands.

“Oh, Tikki, this is _not_ how it was supposed to go,” she groaned.

She wished she’d never worn a bikini in her life. Maybe then, Chloe wouldn’t have known—and somehow remembered—what her soulmark looked like. Absently, Marinette clutched the fabric of her shirt over the tattoo, as if trying to protect anyone from seeing it. 

She used to love her mark. She thought it was so pretty—after all, butterflies used to be her favorite insect. That is, until Hawkmoth showed up and ruined everything. Now, Marinette couldn’t look at one without getting the heebie-jeebies.

What kind of monster could turn such a beautiful, positive creature into a symbol of fear?

_I knew it. You work for that disgusting crook._

Marinette bit her lip to try to keep the memory away, but sat helpless as it imprisoned her thoughts one again. She saw Chloe walking toward her. She heard her shrill voice proclaim her a traitor. And then, she watched, frozen, as Chloe yanked her shirt up and exposed her mark to everyone.

Soulmarks were supposed to be reassuring. Something that reminded you you were not alone. That you’d be loved by someone wonderful someday. But now, all Marinette could feel when she thought of her tattoo was shame. 

Shaking her head, Marinette stared back down at the letter. And that was how her soulmate had found her out. The most humiliating moment of her life. 

And what was worse, they suspected her biggest secret. 

She’d wanted her soulmate to be Adrien for so long… but after this, she’d almost rather it be a stranger. Marinette shook her head once more, trying to put all thoughts of her crush out of her mind. It was just too painful.

She had so many questions. They seemed so sure Ladybug was her, and not only that, but they also seemed set on the idea—they were practically _begging_ for her to be the spotted heroine. Who would do that? Why? _Oh, goodness, it’s someone in my class,_ Marinette’s mind reminded her. _Someone in my class someone in my class oh god oh god—_

Marinette took a shaky breath in. That _classmate_ detail made this whole thing worse. But somehow, her soulmate’s Ladybug inquiries were only a small part of the letter. The rest of it was a dramatic, but heartfelt-seeming, apology for what had happened to her yesterday. 

And, the more Marinette read it, the more the self-doubt and loneliness in her soulmate’s words became apparent. She’d been the one who’d been ridiculed yesterday, yet somehow, she felt like this person, whoever they were, needed more comfort than her. Despite her initial alarm and confusion at the letter, she just wanted to find her soulmate and give them a hug. 

Who was it? 

Marinette felt Tikki cuddle up into her shoulder. “Shh, shh, Marinette,” her kwami cooed. “It’ll be alright.”

“Oh, no, but it’s not alright!” Marinette exclaimed, wringing her hands. “This is—this is worse than worst case scenario I ever thought of of how I’d meet my soulmate! First, they found out through _Chloe,_ then they sent me this—this _letter_ —“ Marinette frowned. “I mean, this feels much too private, much too bold to be a letter that you actually send to someone else.” Seizing the letter once more, Marinette squinted in suspicion. _What if—_

“What if they didn’t mean to send it after all?” Tikki’s voice spoke her thoughts aloud.

“Yeah, this looks more like one of my journal entries than a letter…” Marinette read it through once more, even though she’d almost memorized it by now. Private journals might give away more than intended…

_Hero._ Marinette felt a shock surge through her as she read the word this time. _What kind of hero am I supposed to be…_

That sounded, word for word, like something she’d written in her journal once, during one of her worst moments. Grimacing, Marinette tried to push the memory of that little episode with Lila aside, instead focusing on the words. _What kind of hero am I if I let my emotions and my personal life get the better of me…_

Oh God.

What if her soulmate was Chat Noir? And saw her get humiliated by Chloe? And guessed she was Ladybug? What if Chat Noir was in her class? What if—

Marinette abruptly stood, tossing the letters aside, and began to pace. This was too much. This was all too much. She had too many questions, crowding up her mind so she couldn’t think, so many she couldn’t even remember all of them. 

Well, not unless… she wrote them down. 

Marinette marched to her desk, grabbed a pen and a sheet of list paper, and began to write. 

***

For the record, Adrien had been _trying_ to focus on the lesson. He’d been _trying_ not to keep turning his head to stare at Marinette. Unfortunately, he’d been failing.

Nino’s foot connected with Adrien’s shin under his desk, causing the latter to jolt and snap his head back to the board. “Dude,” Nino whispered. 

Adrien shrugged and sent his friend a sheepish grin. Nino responded by shaking his head. “Lost cause,” he muttered.

Adrien narrowed his eyes and fixed his gaze on Mme. Bustier. He could focus. He could do this. After all, Mme. Bustier was the most engaging and kind teacher he’d ever had, between public school and the tutors he’d had before. Everyone loved her. Especially Marinette… she’d been so thoughtful on her teacher’s birthday. Adrien slowly shifted his head to steal a glance at the girl in question. She was scribbling furiously on a crumpled piece of paper, pausing every now and then to chew on the end of her pen. That adorable little frown of concentration she was making… it was just like Ladybugs’...

Suddenly, the bell rang, nearly causing Adrien to jump out of his seat. To his surprise, Marinette did the same, ignoring Alya’s prompting, sweeping up the papers strewn across her desk, and shouldering her bag, before scrambling out the door. Adrien bit his lip. Was she alright? Alya, evidently wondering the same thing, shook her head with an exasperated sigh and followed her friend.

“ADRIEN.”

The boy in question snapped his head around to face Nino, who somehow seemed amused and concerned all at once. “What’s going on? You’ve been staring at Marinette all day.”

“Uhh, nothing, man,” Adrien tried, his voice coming out more high-pitched than he’d intended. 

Nino raised an eyebrow. “Sure.”

_Crap._ Adrien needed something believable—his best friend wasn’t easily fooled. _Think, Adrien. Think._ Well...nothing was more believable than just a little bit of truth. He cleared his throat “Yeah, uh, it’s just, er, yesterday…I mean, I feel bad, I guess.”

The amusement seemed to drain out of Nino’s features. “Oh, right, yeah… that sucked.” He nodded his head and gave Adrien a pat on the back. 

“I just wished I could have done something,” Adrien sighed. “I mean, I _should_ have done something—”

“Buddy, it’s Chloe who said those things to Marinette, not you. It’s not your fault.”

“I know, it’s just—” Adrien let his hands fall to his sides. Unbidden, his gaze turned to the spot where Marinette—his _soulmate_ —his lady?—had been sitting. He wished he could make it all better. To fix the damage Chloe had done. And it would be even better if he knew some of the answers to the questions that had been flying through his head ever since last night...yeah, that too.

“—you later, I’ve got to get to class,” Nino’s voice declared from behind Adrien as his friend left the classroom. Trying to chase the fog from his brain, Adrien gave his head a little shake and started packing his things into his bag. As he was about to leave the class, he risked one last glance at Marinette’s desk, only to find… was that something she’d dropped? He should give it back to her.

Adrien strode towards the desk to inspect his find. It was the rumpled sheet of paper she’d been working on, folded in half, hamburger-style. As Adrien bent to pick it up, a sentence at the bottom that had been partially revealed by the fold caught his eyes.

_OMG is Adrien Chat Noir?_

Adrien’s eyes flew open in alarm, and his weight pitched backward, causing him to fall, rather unceremoniously, onto his derrière. _No. No way, no no no no no no._ All thoughts of respecting Marinette’s privacy vanished from his mind, Adrien snatched the paper back to him, opened the fold, and read:

_1). First of all, was I really intended to see all of this? This looks more like one of my journal entries than an actual letter. Just saying._  
_2). Does that mean you’d be mad if you found out I read it? Oh God, I’m sorry._  
_3). But, too late now. So…_  
_4). Ladybug… how… why…_  
_5). Oh, wait, shit. If you were Chat Noir, that would explain it, because he’s in love with—_  
_6). Are you Chat Noir?_  
_7). Have you been in my class this whole time? Because I’d feel reaaaalllly stupid if that were the case_  
_8). ...Oh my God, would that explain the butterfly? Hawkmoth?_  
_9). Wait, I know you said you felt bad about it, but why exactly didn’t you confront Chloe? I mean, that would have really helped…_  
_10). Are you friends with her? No one’s friends with her, except—_  
_11). Adrien Agreste. Oh my God. Are you Adrien Agreste?_  
_12). Agh no my stupid lovesick brain’s just running wild on me that would be waaaayyy too good to be true_  
_13). Crap… Adrien Agreste…_  
_14). Are you though? Because I always hoped my soulmate would be my crush. That would be so perfect, wouldn’t it? Too perfect_  
_15). Wait, that would mean Adrien Agreste is frickin Chat Noir_  
_16). OMG is Adrien Chat Noir?_  
_17). If my soulmate is even Chat Noir to begin with_  
_18). Jesus I need sleep_

Adrien gulped. He was pretty sure his brain had stopped working.

She’d gotten his letter. She’d somehow gotten his letter, the one that had been meant only for his eyes. And—and—

Adrien read the letter again. And again. As the first students of the following class shuffled in, he turned and walked swiftly out of the classroom, eyes still glued to the paper in front of him.

_She likes you._ Marinette—his soulmate—Ladybug??—liked him. More specifically, she thought it would be perfect if he, her _crush,_ was her soulmate. Adrien’s heart felt like swelling at the news, yet the fact that she’d guessed his secret identity seemed to clamp it down with fear. No one was supposed to know, and what if she wasn’t Ladybug?

Adrien came to a sudden halt in the middle of the hallway. That was it. That did it. He had to know. He had to.

Adrien’s resolution to pay attention to his classes was, unfortunately, a lost cause throughout the rest of the day, but as the hours ticked by, he began to formulate a plan…

***

Ladybug was sure this was the quietest patrol that she and Chat had ever done.

She was too lost in thought to really mind, though, after the emotional rollercoaster she’d been through during the last few days. First, Chloe, then the letter, and now just being here, in the presence of the very boy that had been sending her thoughts into a tailspin…

Ladybug retracted her yo-yo in midair and landed on the edge of the building where they’d started with a flip, Chat mirroring her movements. There was a pause, in which Ladybug suddenly found herself rooted to her spot. Chat was the opposite, beginning to pace the rooftop, always with his back to her, with a manic energy she rarely saw from him. 

The pause extended into a full silence. They’d covered the full block now, which normally would mean the patrol would end. However, neither hero seemed willing to acknowledge the other.

Suddenly, Chat turned to face Ladybug, catching her right in the eye. She gulped and looked away, his gleaming gaze too much to take. Her kitty had looked at her closely before, of course, but this time...it felt like he could see right through her. Which, if her guess was correct, he could.

Chat cleared his throat. “Ummm… I know it’s been a little awkward tonight, but… I have something for you.” Ladybug felt something brush against her hands, and found a small piece of paper. She brought it closer to her so she could read the word, written in beautiful, looping script, on the front.

_Marinette_

Ladybug felt her whole body tense as she snapped her head back to Chat. _He knows. Omigod, he knows._

Chat’s expression changed as she met his eyes, gaining a pleading quality. He bit his lip. “I’m sorry, I know I wasn’t supposed to find out,” he whispered, before bringing out a familiar-looking paper from behind his back. Ladybug gulped. Oh god... it had happened to her, too. Chat sighed. "And I wasn't supposed to see this, either. I know. Just, please...read the rest.” His breath misted the tip of Ladybug’s nose.

Ladybug’s heart skipped a beat as she opened the paper.

_No, you weren’t really supposed to receive my first letter, heaven only knows how it reached you. But you know what? I’m glad it did. Because now I can tell you. For 100% sure._

__

__

_My name is Adrien Agreste. I’m Chat Noir. I’m your soulmate. And I’m in love with you._

Marinette’s hand shook as she lowered the letter. As she lifted her chin, she was enveloped by his green gaze, more Adrien than Chat, still filled with an unspoken question.

“Are you sure,” she whispered, her fingers brushing against his.

“Always, my lady.” Taking her hand gently, he brought it up to his lips. Marinette watched as he asked his silent question, once again, his eyes telling her everything she needed to know.

Suddenly, Marinette couldn’t be held back any longer. She jumped into his arms, lacing her feet around his hips, and laughed. 

“I’m so glad I found you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, you guys! You can find me on Tumblr at thesernotthedroidsurlooking4. (Fair warning, my blog is pretty much just a mess of nothing.) Thanks for reading!


End file.
